In a study of newlyweds, couples reported daily on conflict and sexual activity. Conflict was not associated with the likelihood of having sex that same day, but it was associated with a lower likelihood of sex the next day; participants rated sex on a day with conflict as less enjoyable.
Compared with days when there was conflict without sex, the drop in relationship-quality ratings was less pronounced on days when sex and conflict occurred together. These are observational data: they do not establish causality, tell us who initiated intimacy, or provide a formula for every couple.
After tension, it can help to first understand what each person wants: space, a conversation, a hug, or sex — and whether both can freely say “no.” Intimacy can be part of reconnecting, but it cannot replace acknowledging harm, apologizing, or changing behavior. If both people truly want sex, that is their choice; if one agrees out of fear of losing the other or just to end the argument, it is worth stopping and returning to consent and safety.