And suddenly you feel sad.
That reaction can be especially unsettling because the brain immediately starts searching for a hidden explanation: “Does this mean I didn’t really enjoy it?”, “Do I regret it?”, “Is something wrong with our relationship?”
But a negative emotion after sex is not always a retrospective review of the sex itself.
Research describes postcoital symptoms — emotional and physical experiences that can occur after sexual activity, including sadness, irritability, mood swings, low energy and other reactions. They can occur even after consensual sexual experiences.
That does not mean every episode of sadness after sex should be labelled a physiological quirk and ignored. Sometimes the relationship context or the specific experience really does matter.
It simply means emotion does not have to follow the equation “good sex = good emotion afterwards.” Sometimes someone really can have a deeply enjoyable sexual experience and then want to cry. The first question does not have to be “What is wrong with us?” It can simply be “What are you feeling right now, and what do you need?”