But ten years later, those are no longer exactly the same two people.
Health changes. Bodies change. Stress, experience, medication, work and someone’s relationship with their own sexuality change. Children arrive and then stop being small children. Sleep changes, age changes, and the amount of time a couple has changes.
Even the desired frequency of sex does not have to remain constant. What felt perfect at twenty-five may feel completely different at forty.
So “We used to be compatible” may sometimes describe not the disappearance of some magical chemistry but two people changing in different directions while the couple’s old sexual system keeps operating according to the old rules.
That only sounds hopeless if compatibility is treated as a fixed trait. If we think of it as an interaction between two changing people, it becomes easier to understand why we sometimes have to get to know the same partner again — including in bed.