That does not mean love has ended. Attachment and desire partly thrive under different conditions. Attachment benefits from safety, predictability, and availability. Erotic interest often needs attention, room for imagination, and the ability to see a familiar person as more than a partner in daily logistics.
That view is especially easy to lose when most communication becomes life management: buy groceries, collect the package, pay the bill, put the child to bed. The other person’s body is still nearby, but erotic curiosity gives way to functionality. Add fatigue, stress, and an unequal care burden, and low desire stops looking mysterious.
Bringing erotic energy back does not have to begin with “spontaneous sex like we used to have.” Sometimes the first step is interrupting autopilot: time together without a household agenda, flirting, a different setting, an honest conversation about what is arousing now, or simply the chance to exist as two separate people rather than one operational unit.
Good roommates can notice each other as lovers again. But sometimes that requires less fusion and more attention to whatever makes each person feel alive and distinct.